grabe na tong thread na to... this post on the history about the blues rats is quickly becoming part of that history!
mabuhay kayo!
Oo nga e -- baka sobra na! Okay, I'll attempt to end this, but I have a feeling this ain't gonna work....
.png "lol")
It's just been too funny at na -addik na nga 'yung mga iba dito! Look at the "views" count -- crazy na.
Ok, here goes....read on dahil kasama ka dito...
….EPILOGUE….
It’s June of 2035 –- some 40 years since the Blue Rats played their first set in public, and the 40th straight year that the band has been playing out and active. The reunion first discussed in August of 2006 is now FINALLY actually happening! They’ve returned to their old stomping grounds, the Hobbit House, which now houses a brothel featuring Korean and Russian prostitutes (alongside the locals of course) on the 2nd floor – in the space formerly known as The Hideaway. It is now called the “Hide The Lay”. B2b now operates HTL and it is also well known for its pizza and sizzling sisig. The Stetson hangs over the bar but the poncho is long gone. It was retired after having done double duty as a teaser costume in the “Western Suite” and a table cloth in the “Tokyo Room” -- the shabu-shabu pot was placed in the perfectly located head hole cutout -- but the and the irremovable stains of unknown origin and burned edging sealed its fate.
Some changes at Hobbit too. The acknowledgement of its past is evidenced by a single go-go cage to the left of the stage (in front of the Hobbit mural) in which a single naked Hobbit dances and prances around to the beat of whatever live band happens to be playing. All the waiters/waitresses are now of the regular sized variety, with not much more than a g-string/T-back/Tangga, bow tie, and the name “Hobbit” henna-tattooed across their chests to obscure “the goods”.
The Rats are an impressive sight and feature “The Coliseum of Sound”. Now having expanded to being a 13-piece “Ultimate Jam” band, the usual sets still begin with Statesboro Blues or Funky Mama, Hoochie or Chain of Fools in the middle, and end with Piece Of My Heart or Whipping Post. The current lineup features the following personnel:
• Cow (lefty) – guitars. Sporting a graying goatee, a “Mom” tattoo alongside a short chronological listing of GF’s on his sagging chest, he now plays righty after over 50 years of frustration trying to get his hands on nice left-handed guitars in the local shops.
• Johnny – bass. Now everything about Johnny is gray: hair, shirt, pants, socks, shoes, instrument (5-string Fender Roscoe Beck model in silver-gray), skin, and teeth.
• Leica Epperson – harp. Tom’s second daughter, she carries tattoos on both forearms of the Rat’s setlist indicating the keys in which the songs are performed. Some scarring due to occasional changes in keys as the vocalists in the band have changed over the years.
• Mikey Ortigas – manager. Miguel and Tricie’s son, he can neither keep a beat nor sing… much less play anything having to do with notes. But he really loves the band. Really truly. “BLUE” tattooed on his right calf, “Rats” tattooed over his heart.
• Doric Manansala (delta_fattone) – guitars. Nathan’s 12 year old daughter (an accident in Nate’s mid-life crisis) who turns out to be a telecaster prodigy and slidemaster, and her Uncle Joric’s goddaughter. She recalls her dad and uncle constantly arguing over a band called the blue rats and what-gear-who-played-when-and-how. Karma talaga that she ended up joining the band. Funny how that works.
• Mai-Mai Mislang – vocals. dopedeeva’s daughter. Conceived in a test tube (“I have had it with these spineless, “cojones-less” pinoy men… never again!”) and raised by a single parent, this long haired beauty was taught the tricks of the trade by her mom – secrets passed on down by other Rats vocalists over the years (example: Using one’s hair as a laway guard against lascivious old men who attack the stage). She did not only inherit her mom’s husky, bluesy, pitch-perfect voice, but apparently her biological father’s mestizo good looks. Although it remains a secret only known to “the circle of trust”, it is widely rumored that the sperm donor was none other than former Rat/Razorback David Aguirre.
• Joey Puyat – soloing coach and “gears and equipments” manager. Long retired from playing onstage, his mandate is to keep the Rats’ soloists in “tasty” mode. It his also his life’s mission to invade gear forums on the web and educate forum members that the words “gear” and “equipment” inherently describe “a plurality”, and there is no need – nay even, it is actually grammatically wrong – to add the letter “s” at the tail end of these words.
• Vic Borgailly – drums. The senior member of the Rats drumming duo, “Mang Vic” (as he is fondly known) visibly looks and audibly sounds younger by the year unlike the rest of his Rats contemporaries. Some suspect that he has found the “fountain of youth” by selling his soul to the devil. Others ascribe this dual phenomenon to the improved chemical formulations of the Clairol Corporation (manufacturer of hair dyes) and the Chinese triads (manufacturers of street contraband who have successfully turned around the market perception of their products – from illegal, harmful, substances to invigorating health/dietary supplements).
• “Baston” Ongpin – drums, vocals, and multi-instrumentalist. Offspring of Apa and #8. It turns out that #8 (not meant to be a derogatory label – meant specifically to protect identities) was the magic bullet. Unlike his parents, it turns out this guy can keep time, sing, play any stringed instrument, keys, horns, woodwinds, etc. Veritable “stevie wonder/prince” type genius. Together with Mang Vic and his 32-piece kit (not counting cymbals or toys pa – drums lang ‘yan!), they are the showstopping percussion foundation of the band. He also fills in at any instrumental position that’s missing on any given night.
• Joe Ingarra – pastor/spiritual leader. Now in his 80’s, he has been advised by his doctor’s to stop tooting his horn lest he risk a stroke by tooting too loudly. Ironically, in a dream one fateful evening last year, it was revealed that the Rats needed saving and he has been advised by the guy upstairs to start tooting his horn lest he never see his old bandmates up there when the time comes as a result of his not tooting loud enough. He has come back to the Rats. He leads the pre-gig and post-gig thanksgiving prayers, and regularly sits in his wheelchair during performances onstage to the left. Tonight, he is seated next to the naked gyrating hobbit in the cage.
• Butz Roxas – guitars. Son of Butch Roxas. Considered a “miracle baby”, he was born to his parents with no complications while the couple were in their 50’s. Serious chops from excellent musical genes. Even more incredible: Now he REALLY looks like Uncle Johnny!!! Plus he only wears black pa..... One time 3 years ago at this private gig in Alabang, the band is in the middle of “You Can Have My Husband But Please Don’t Mess With My Man”, this gorgeous babe walks up to Butz…….
• Kim Dosado – vocals. Now going by her more famous stage name “Kimmie Dorado” (yes, she’s one and the very same person!), she occasionally joins the old band when her schedule allows it. Her very successful solo career and keen business sense has made her a household name the world over. “Bayaning Pinoy”, “Asia’s Queen Belter”, etc. – all well deserved titles. Following last year’s welcome concert in Vegas where Lani Misalucha turned over her gig to Kimmie D. at the MGM Grand, Kim came home to purchase a majority equity stake in Ambergris Solutions – yes, the very same company that hired the Rats for the Rockstar competition, declared Kim the winner, and started her singing career in 2006. Kim now owns 75% of Ambergris (Php 5.2B in net income from operations last year) and plans to take an active hand in the management of the company and its 25,000 employees in 30 operating centers nationwide.
• AL (BB) – The Last Original Rat Left Standing. Literally. Long unable to continue playing guitar because the gout had crept up to his fingers about 10 years ago, BB can still be seen onstage at every Rats gig. He is the guy in between the harp and guitar amps. Standing. He’s the last original rat left standing (remember, joe is sitting). When the set begins and the band dives into that first note at every gig, he stands. When the last crash of the cymbal cuts through the air at the end of final encores, he’s still standing. Standing standing standing. And smiling.
As the night progresses, about 30 ex-rats begin filing into Hobbit. In 2035, most of the rest who had jammed with the Rats in the old days are now with Bosyo and Norman. The talk turns toward an assessment (most very predictable) of the Rats’ 40 years:
• still no album released
• still no website
• still no segué into songs
• still no set lists 100% followed
• know the beginning, know the end, bahala na how we get there
• inside jokes and “figuring out what to play next” still the norm onstage
• this thread is now 16,729 pages long with 8,946,738 views
And yet, Hobbit is packed this evening and the plotting goes on – just as it had over 40 years -- about how to spread the blues gospel. Right before the band begins the first set, the conclusion then is very clear:
“THE BLUES IS NOTHING BUT A GOOD BAND HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHEN TO QUIT.”
Count 'em -- that's 13 smilies!
