Alcohol Withdrawal

[pallas]

Sino na naka-experience nito? Nun mild insomnia lang pero lumala na lately. My first time experiencing a scary episode of it and It was not very pretty. Woke up and the room was spinning. Skin was cold, was sweating the whole night. Sensation of insects crawling on my skin. Senses disorientation. Vomiting and nausea.

The insomnia bit was very hard to deal with so I tried to taper off and drink a few till back to normal dosage of laklakan na naman. This time though I'm willing to fight it out and get some kind of headway with this problem of mine. I know it will be difficult, monumental hurdle to get over for I love my cold beers, adore my wines.  My wife also decided to quit to support my cause though she only drinks on occasions and has  no problem with alcohol.

It's been 12 days since my last full on usual 1 bottle wine 2 beer wash down days and first week was not easy.  Mild fever anytime day or night. Excessive sweating while sleeping. Feeling of over fatigue. Loss of appetite. Dizziness and worst of all was the stomach pain. I couldn't breath deeply and properly for stabbing sensations would commence.

I know it's not the heavy full blown withdrawal and I ain't waiting to end up that way before I stop but went to see the doctor anyways and he agrees the reason is I stopped it abruptly. Prescribed muscle relaxants for my stomach.

day 12 wish me luck.....and cheerios. 

[pallas]

slept loads last night like 9 hours, sweating like a pig, mild fever. Felt great waking up BUT afterhalf an hour i felt like the wind gonna knock me over.

day 13....riding it out.

[gandydancer123]

hahaha wow man!

its all in the mind!!!

kaya mo yan!!! magnormalize din body systems  soon!!! konting tiis nalang!

[pallas]

hahaha wow man!

its all in the mind!!!

kaya mo yan!!! magnormalize din body systems  soon!!! konting tiis nalang!

thanks!
I made a promise to my son that it will be my gift to him on his 7th birthday this month.
No turning back, death to the tyranny of alcohol.

I had the worst fever dream last night my arms felt like two swords burning, cold as steel but burning.
Struggling to come to work on time, irregular heart beat, shortness of breath. Told my boss what im going thru
bahala na sya mag-internalize. I just told her ive been drinking for 25 years and i want to stop. I want a new ME as ive turned
40 this year.
Day 14.....pretty stable right know.

[p-nut]

I don't know if I'm already in the "Withdrawal" stage na, I suddnely felt na ayoko na ng feeling na lagi kang hirap every morning and sumasakit ang katawan!
I started feeling this when I went to biking again, wala naman kasi akong band ngayon so sinakyan ko cya. then boom! although the side effect on me (na alam kong eto lang) is ung pagubo ko after I stopped drinking. mas nauna akong huminto sa yosi unlike sa drinking eh, kasi I have this concept na "mas mabuti pang uminom ka na lang kesa manigarilyo" although I have to admit: there were nights na feeling ko kulang ang gabi pag walang alak sa katawan. ganun kasi ako dati, naaabutan ako ng mga friends ko sa labas ng bahay drinking at least 5 bottles or RHB 500ml (at least) every night. mabuti na lang nakita ko bike ko ulit. hahaha!

thanks to my biker friends eh naiimpluwencyahan nila ako. pero nakakatakot since December na, at nagrerequest sila ng isang boteng JD sa akin. test lang kaya 'to? hahaha!

Goodluck on your journey bro, para sa ikagaganda ng health mo yan!

[pallas]

Thanks pre.

JD as in Jack Daniels. Used to drink loads of that. Tapos na realize ko di pala gamay ng tiyan ko yan.
Di na rin pwede RHB sa akin lalagnatin ako Lol!
Buti ka pa may outlet in biking. Ang hirap sa akin if I have a bad day at work I start hitting our bar early starting at 9 pm matapos ako by 11 I've drank a whole bottle then walk home with a big takeaway pint cup of our nice Merlot. Yup 4 years with the company and they always give half of my bonus for some bullsith reason. I hit them back by drinking to my hearts delight.

Now no more. I need to simplify it down to the core. Getting rid of alcohol for good is the key.
Once my mind and thoughts are free of the haze and webs of alcohol I can think clearer and quieter and calmer.
 
That is where I want to be...just a simple feeling of clear sobriety. No nagging monkey at the back of your mind. Worthless rambling chatter.

Day 15....a very stressful day at work today.

[fizz450_03]

@ ts

bro i wish you luck in overcoming your situation, kaya yan! 

[gandydancer123]

Pallas...how about some..regular exercise regimen to boot pang detox?

 Langhiyang company yan..


di binibigay yung kalahati ng bonus..wtf?!

[p-nut]

Thanks pre.

JD as in Jack Daniels. Used to drink loads of that. Tapos na realize ko di pala gamay ng tiyan ko yan.
Di na rin pwede RHB sa akin lalagnatin ako Lol!
Buti ka pa may outlet in biking. Ang hirap sa akin if I have a bad day at work I start hitting our bar early starting at 9 pm matapos ako by 11 I've drank a whole bottle then walk home with a big takeaway pint cup of our nice Merlot. Yup 4 years with the company and they always give half of my bonus for some bullsith reason. I hit them back by drinking to my hearts delight.

Now no more. I need to simplify it down to the core. Getting rid of alcohol for good is the key.
Once my mind and thoughts are free of the haze and webs of alcohol I can think clearer and quieter and calmer.
 
That is where I want to be...just a simple feeling of clear sobriety. No nagging monkey at the back of your mind. Worthless rambling chatter.

Day 15....a very stressful day at work today.

Paborito ko JD bro, lalo na on the rocks lang. Iwan nyo na lang ako sa sulok pag ganun. hahaha!

Siguro ung transition ko eh nanggaling din sa inggit: kasi ung mga biker friends ko eh hindi na nainom ngayon, since nakakasama ko sila sa tambayan namin eh naisip ko to do the same din. I remember ung isang newbie rider namin eh sinabihan ako: "kuya wag ka nang uminom, hihina ka sa pagpadyak nyan, kaw din hindi ka makakahabol sa amin"
Nag-mark sa akin un and napaisip ako: oo nga naman, mahihirapan akong sumama sa long ride kung alcohol ung nasa katawan ko, tapos wala pa akong exercise. So ayun, hanggang sa napansin na din nila na instead of beer, Soda na ang iniinom ko. That's a big accomplishment for me, knowing na super love ko ang alcohol! But that didn't came as smooth as silk. Dumating ako sa point na may trangkaso ako, hirap umubo, and other stuffs. I guess dahil naga-adjust pa ung katawan ko with the new setup na meron cya.
I suggest na somehow you do the same bro: find something or anything na mabubuhusan mo ng attention mo on your road to recovery. If you like biking, climbing, road tripping, anything! Naging hooked lang naman tayo kasi may mga idle moments tayo in life eh tapos ang gusto lang natin eh uminom na lang (my opinion lang). But the biggest motivation that you can think is your family lalo na ang anak mo. By that alone, alam kong makakayanan mo yan, trust me!

Nga pala speaking of bonus? Half lang ang binibigay ng company mo for that?
Wat Da Pak! Seriously, anong klase un? Nakakastress nga naman kung iisipin!

[pallas]

Pallas...how about some..regular exercise regimen to boot pang detox?

 Langhiyang company yan..


di binibigay yung kalahati ng bonus..wtf?!

Ok pre na transfer ulit ako sa isang super outlet. Sure yung sales and we opened it and delivered tapos dating ng bonus putcha half na naman.
Yung ka-ranggo ko doon na laging syang full bonus malas daw ako pati sya nadamay.
But it's all good I accept it. This is my world...walking working under a racist society. Working for a manipulative and abusive Operations Manager.

Pero mali pag tinuloy ko...ako talo. They all burning both ends raking in the money. They get old and sick. What's the point?
I'd rather be old and fighting fit with a stellar health roof over my head and food on the table.

Yup next up when the sweating stops and the fever ceases to visit I'll hit the local park early morning routine and start looking seriously at my diet.

[p-nut]

isabay mo sa daily routine mo bro ang jogging/running, magandang kasabay yan ng diet
pero dapat kalmado na lahat ng senses mo before doing that, or else wala din.

OT: ohwell, hayaan na ang mga racists at wag nang patulan yan. mahirap ha 

[pallas]

isabay mo sa daily routine mo bro ang jogging/running, magandang kasabay yan ng diet
pero dapat kalmado na lahat ng senses mo before doing that, or else wala din.

OT: ohwell, hayaan na ang mga racists at wag nang patulan yan. mahirap ha 

Hayaan mo sila basta me sweldo. Babanatan ko na naman sila ngayon sa pagkain.
Order ako off the menu steak tsaka mga pork ribs. Lol!! Ring in ko ng staff meal.
Ang payat ko na kaya so get some mass first then sculpt it.
But damn ang hirap kong tumaba.I lost 5 kilos withdrawing and I only weigh close to 60. Hopefully getting rid of booze would be the solution.

[pallas]

Day 16.

Stomach spasms are back. Woke me up this morning.
Tried to get my prescribed drugs over the counter but none.
I guess I hve to go back to the clinic for it.

We had some wine tasting yesterday. Some really nice wines P5000 per bottle wines.
Got me a spit bucket, swirled the wines in my mouth and spat them out.

I always tell myself I am a functioning alcoholic. Drinks a lot but can still hold down a job and keep it together. I also know a same guy who works in the company with me. He manages a German restaurant I opened 3 years ago. That guy Kenny his name would start drinking at 6 and would finish 2 bottles sometimes 3 if it's busy. Nice guy....can still work until office got a call and they found him alone in a rented room DEAD stiff as he lay in his bed. They called the office for FCUKs sake...THE office. They couldn't get a hold of any of his family.

I thought about Kenny while swirling that nice expensive French wine in my mouth.
Raised a toast in the air and spat it out.

Off to get my meds.

[p-nut]

awww! the cause of Kenny's was due to alcohol?
baka naman may others pa na nag-trigger, but for sure that alcohol is one of the prime suspects.
so how are you now bro? how's the stomach?

[gandydancer123]

http://www.addictions.com/alcohol/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism


good luck guys! kaya yan!!! and thanks for sharing your fight! may it help inspire others who are in the same situation and...

educate and inform those who arent...

[pallas]

awww! the cause of Kenny's was due to alcohol?
baka naman may others pa na nag-trigger, but for sure that alcohol is one of the prime suspects.
so how are you now bro? how's the stomach?

Gambling! Alienation and Loneliness. The feeling of no control
over your life. I suspect he took the easy way out and made a choice that time.


When I heard about Kenny na takot talaga ako. It was not someone you read about or some story on TV/ movies.
It was tangible. I really knew this guy personally, had drinks with him and all. Having a laugh about how stupid the company we work for all the while drinking the company stock. I did sense in his eyes his addiction was way more rooted, way twisted and sinister than mine.

Okay na naman tiyan but I wish it would stabilize by know.
Ok Lang a day at a time.

[pallas]

I missed one crucial thing. The doctor didn't do the procedure. I haven't been monitoring my blood pressure. The shortness of breath, irregular heartbeats etc. Am I high or low really don't know all I know is I watch my salt intake, rice intake, sweets and soft drinks are zero. I literally keep my diet strict with lots of fruits and water just so I can go on with my alcohol drinking. Now that I've stopped that something is way off balance.

Need to get a home BP monitor.

Day 18...walkin the line.

[Magus]

I used to drink heavily since after I graduated College.

And there where years that were really heavy, as in rockstar heavy.

There was a year when after college i got addicted to Gin and was downing 2 bottles a day.

then just a few years ago until last year. i was drinking daily. Beer naman, average of 8 bottles daily.

I'm grateful  got over 11 years with alcohol with no damage.

I was countering my smoking and drinking with boxing and strength training. the last 2 years

It was hard to quit, the booze was just sitting the store and very accessible.

Now I'm less than 10  bottles this year and counting. And Ive felt better ever since. Ocassional n lng.

It was just like that for me. nanawa lng ako plus with the added responsibilities I have, there's really no time to drink.

Nowadays, just thinking of the aftermath of a heavy drinking session. Makes me think twice.

Sa workout and protein shake na ako addict ngayon.

[pallas]

I used to drink heavily since after I graduated College.

And there where years that were really heavy, as in rockstar heavy.

There was a year when after college i got addicted to Gin and was downing 2 bottles a day.

then just a few years ago until last year. i was drinking daily. Beer naman, average of 8 bottles daily.

I'm grateful  got over 11 years with alcohol with no damage.

I was countering my smoking and drinking with boxing and strength training. the last 2 years

It was hard to quit, the booze was just sitting the store and very accessible.

Now I'm less than 10  bottles this year and counting. And Ive felt better ever since. Ocassional n lng.

It was just like that for me. nanawa lng ako plus with the added responsibilities I have, there's really no time to drink.

Nowadays, just thinking of the aftermath of a heavy drinking session. Makes me think twice.

Sa workout and protein shake na ako addict ngayon.

Amen brother.

Thinking about that protein shakes. Though I don't know how I can commit to it. Ang sama ng lass. There has to be another way to gain weight.

[pallas]

Passed three weeks clean and sober and now that I'm feeling 100 percent awesome the temptation to have a drink is very high though. Every time my bartender opens a fresh bottle of our nice Chianti is pure torture. Every time I go to a 711 I subconsciously glance at the cold beers section.

Subconcious. The motherfcuking hidden iceberg of our brain. The one who overrides us, puts us in its autopilot and follows all the habitual trails of hardened neural paths that we've paved all these years. The Subconcious always leads me in front of a cold fridge full of beer at a 711 even when I only meant to buy a Gatorade on a hot afternoon. I got alarmed when I find myself a lot of times every time that happens. I would be listening to music, entertaining myself then go to a store just wanting a cold soft drink....For some reason my Subconcious distracts me and I find myself reaching for a nice cold king can Asahi.

No more listening to music on the way to work these days. Just a book, the old tyrant and me.

Day 21. Just me and that big hidden iceberg these days....going head to head on full 24.

[pallas]

Starting off my second month off alcohol. Really feeling good about it. The gift of Sobriety is awesome. Mornings are clear and crisp and wouldn't want to trade it for any trace of alcohol induced sluggish feeling. The temptation is still there though and I welcome it. I say keep your friends close and your demons closer....till the latter becomes a conquered leviathan stuffed on a corner. A lone audience every time I push some air.

Month 2....God bless us. Everyone.

[pallas]

Mood Swings to the MAX. I'm driving my wife crazy. Sick of eating chocolates. Sick of peanut butter sandwiches at night. Sick of eating raisins , oatmeals and trying different kinds of muesli just to appease the sugar craving. Sick of thinking what to stuff in my mouth just to counter the craving for alcohol.

Have had dreams wherein I drank a couple of beers and felt really down and guilty only to be relieved that it was a dream. Is that a good sign? Hopefully so besides all the fed up list I have to endure I'm getting the hang of being a dry drunk.

[gandydancer123]

kaya mo yan man!!!

[Magus]

I have questions on this topic;

1. So I have succeeded in stopping drinking heavily everyday. But every now and then, I give in. Not to give in to some craving but to enjoy and relax a bit.
    question is, how do you stop the snowball effect? where it becomes more and more.

2. Is alcohol addiction genetic? why do some people have moderation and some have all out binge tendencies like myself.

Right now, My only weapon against alcohol is my workout and my boxing training.

What if its really ingrained into you? just a thought.

[pallas]

I have questions on this topic;

1. So I have succeeded in stopping drinking heavily everyday. But every now and then, I give in. Not to give in to some craving but to enjoy and relax a bit.
    question is, how do you stop the snowball effect? where it becomes more and more.

2. Is alcohol addiction genetic? why do some people have moderation and some have all out binge tendencies like myself.

Right now, My only weapon against alcohol is my workout and my boxing training.

What if its really ingrained into you? just a thought.

Tendencies not Destiny. This is what I want to believe and have read ever since I started a daily battle for sobriety. It says that we tend to imitate stuff around us, have addictive tendencies, do stuff that tend to become a habit that leads to addiction. Some are born with low coping mechanisms and tend to become the ones who develop problems later in life.

Again it's all just tendencies and not destiny.

All this background program being involuntary integrated in us since childhood CAN be conquered even when the brain and the  body are so dependent to it for its existence. Take the case of hardcore junkies who turn their life around or Keith Richards...lol!


The mind can basically override the brain to quit doing it's addictive tendencies and rise over that.
Just my 2 cents worth here.

100 days sober and am convinced that a lifetime of sobriety is how I will live the second half of my life. Cranking it all down to zero and starting all over again.