if i may....
When I was gigging in the Philippines as part of INTRoVOYS, MYST?RY and SKiN, I rarely used a metronome live. There would be times when my band mates would give me a high five and tell me that we were "in the pocket". There were nights na "deadma" lang. There were many nights wherein I have been told na "na excite" na naman ako at "medyo bumilis na kaunti" ang kanta. There were also times when I thought I did alright but after listening to myself on tape or after watching a video of myself behind the kit... i always ended up becoming frustrated because my tempo was off!
When I learned how to play drums, I embraced the metronome right away. I would practice with it and I would record with it. In spite of it, I never really used it LIVE. My tempo was always consistent, as in consistently slow or consistently fast. Wala kasi akong reference point as tempo.
When I auditioned for bands here in the US, I almost lost my confidence. I would get rejected not because I couldn't groove or couldn't lay down the fill. I would get rejected because I couldn't nail the right tempo. Many times (and I do mean MANY), the vocalist would look behind his shoulder in frustration and then stop the band. He would tell me to speed up my tempo or slow down because I wasn't nailing it. In the end, I lost the gig.
I knew that I was guilty of not nailing the exact tempo but was not guilty of speeding up and slowing down. I decided to buy a Tama Rhythm Watch. Thank God for "tap tempo"!!! On the next audition for an upcoming local band, I came in prepared with a tempo list of their songs PLUS an additional equipment on my drum arsenal... my metronome! I got the gig! The name of the band was Brush the Green (
http://cdbaby.com/cd/brushthegreen). Go check out how the recording came out. Too bad we didn't go very far.
Anyway, the vocalist for Brush the Green had the same attitude as other singers. He'd look above his shoulder and motion me to speed up or slow down. Well, not in my house!!!! I made it a point to play with the Rhythm Watch hanging above my head. Hooked to my in-ear monitors, I had a clear register of the click. The band, on the other hand, had a clear view of the LED display clicking in time to the tempo that the four of us had agreed to earlier before the song count off.
In other words, the metronome became our objective tool to determine any given tempo tempo. This saved me a lot of possible argument situations. The use of a metronome in any situation also opened the doors to a multitude of session work.
I still don't use the metronome 100% live but tempo junkies better beware because if they challenge me about nailing a tempo... they better own up to it.