i stumbled upon this article in one of the other forums i was browsing. just wanna share it here. oh and by the way, i'm disgusted with avril...
Avril Lavigne: Rising Star or Rising *******?
Written by Jessica Zietz
Avril Lavigne. Just seeing the name sends a trickle of pure disgust down my spine. Why, you ask? I mean, her songs are so deep! Her clothes are so cute! She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her! She's like, totally punk rawk! Well, my little brainwashed ones, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree. Let's see...where shall we start?
Avril Lavigne is a pop singer feeding off of the new punk trend. Apparently, she (along with all her fans) missed the bulletin notifying those of us whose minds aren't quite as impressionable that dressing in every article of clothing ever put out by Hot Topic does not make you punk. Clothing should not define a musician's style. Rather (and here's a real challenging idea for you), their MUSIC should. Yet, the brainless youth of America continues to eat it up, as they do with anything and everything they're spoon-fed by the media, top 40 radio, and the sadistic, brainwashing, greedy trend
whores better known as MTV executives.
In a recent magazine article, Avril proclaimed, "I don't write 'Oh-baby-baby' songs. I'm a skater punk who writes guitar driven rock." Yet one listen of the record proves otherwise. It is an album of mostly slower, pop-rock tunes that would have felt at home on Mandy Moore's latest record. Avril can't seem to understand that, as much as she tries to give off a different image with what she wears, she is a POP singer. Uh-oh, here comes the retort from angry Avril worshippers.
"She's not pop! She's rock! And she writes songs and plays guitar!"
Calm yourselves, kiddies. This attack has only just begun. Stay with me as I dissect Avril's music, image, fakeness, and hypocrisy.
Annoyance #1: Avril the Songwriter
In J-14's August issue, Avril explained her songwriting process. "Once I sit down with the guitar, I write about what I'm feeling that day." However, in the July 1st edition of Time Magazine, Ms. Lavigne admitted, "I sit down with a guitar player usually."
A guitar player. As in someone who is not her playing the guitar. Which is it, Avril? Furthermore, a look at the songwriting credits on her CD will reveal that each song was cowritten with a multitude of professional songwriters. Anyone can spit out a couple rhyming sentences, maybe even a melody here or there, when they're being guided by experts. (Britney Spears did it- is it necessary for me to say much more?) One can't help but wonder just how much of those songs was written by Avril. Yet, in that same J-14 article, she claimed, "I wrote all those songs when I was sixteen." The credits tell otherwise, and somehow I'm not buying the Avril-did-it-all version of the story.
Don't get too angry just yet. There's nothing wrong with receiving some help writing songs. However, Avril is being touted as some guitar-playing, songwriting prodigy when, in reality, she's not the only force behind those tracks. But that's what sells, so I guess that makes it alright to lie, exaggerate, and present yourself as some virtuoso.
Annoyance #2: Avril the Guitar Player
It's pretty impossible to read an article on Avril Lavigne that doesn't mention Michelle Branch. In fact, a recent article in YM stated, "She rocks harder on the guitar than Michelle Branch." Remember that trickle of disgust flowing down my spine? There it is again. You see, Michelle Branch got her big break when she opened up for Hanson- just her, a guitar, and some undeniable raw talent. When performing, be it for TV, a live concert, a radio show, whatever- she always plays her guitar.
That's not the case with Lavigne. In numerous pictures of the singer (and I stress singer, not musician) performing, as well as the television appearances I've seen, Avril merely sings. In her acoustic sessions with AOL, she sang while a member of her band strummed along on acoustic guitar. Any half-decent musician who constantly states that she plays guitar would have proven herself then and there. A CDNow.com article reviewing a recent Avril performance mentioned that she strapped on the guitar for one song, claiming, "I suck." If someone like Britney Spears or Mandy Moore, who call themselves singers/entertainers and not musicians, played guitar for one song during a concert, I'd be impressed. Yet Avril constantly talks about how she plays guitar... why wouldn't she play it live? There's simply no excuse. And playing the few chords that she does know does not constitute a true musician. Furthermore, a look at the album credits show that Avril played guitar for only ONE song. Now that's a real guitar player.
Annoyance #3: Avril the Lyricist
"I never spend less than an hour
Washin' my hair in the shower
It always takes five hours to make it straight
So I'll braid it in a zillion braids
Though it may take a friggin' day
There's nothin' else better to do anyway."
- "My World"
That's uh...deep.
"He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?"
Well, you sure as hell couldn't make it any more juvenile.
"He's just a boy, and I'm just a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love, haven't you heard, how we rock each other's world?
I'm with the sk8er boi, I said see you later boy
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be at the studio singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know."
- "Sk8er Boi"
First of all, the fact that it's spelled like that is enough to make me vomit all over myself. I thought no one over the age of thirteen wrote a sentence that looked like, "U R 2 Kewl 2 B 4 GOT N." Second, the lyrics are flat out ridiculous. Boy meets girl, girl is too good for boy, boy becomes big star, girl regrets it, boy meets Avril, boy and Avril live happily ever after. My imaginary nine year old sister could have penned better lyrics.
"Went back home again
This sucks, gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now
I turn around
Turn my back on everything"
- "Mobile"
Well, cry her a f*cking river. Avril, darling, you chose that lifestyle. You chose to drop out of high school, move to LA, and pursue your career. Deal with the consequences.
"I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
La da da da La da da da"
- "Things I'll Never Say"
No "Oh baby baby" songs? There's nothing wrong with a love song or two. Yet she disses them every chance she gets...and goes and sings lines that are just as mushy. For example, also found in "Things I'll Never Say":
"If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today"
At least Britney never proposed marriage.
Oh, and here's a bright idea for Avril to prove how punk she is. Let's have her RAP in a song. Because, ya know, most punk bands always include a rap bit or two in their songs. Here's an excerpt from "Nobody's Fool," also known as Avril's audition for Cash Money Millionaires.
"I'm not the milk and Cheerios in your spoon,
It's not a simple here we go not so soon,
I might have fallen for that when I was 14
And a little more green."
That inconceivably ridiculous first line speaks for itself. The second makes no sense whatsoever, I've no qualms with the third, and the fourth...Avril, the writing is lacking. Perhaps you shouldn't have been so quick to drop out.
"If you're trying to turn me into someone else
It's easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool."
Could've fooled me. (Yes, I crack myself up.)